I wanna quit the gym*

Customer service: How may I provide you with excellent service? *HA.*
Me: I'd like to cancel my membership.
Her: Oh, why?
Me: The location isn't convenient anymore.
Her: Okay, it takes 30 days to cancel, so you'll be billed for 30 more days.
Me: It took 30 minutes to sign up and it takes 30 days to cancel??
Her: Yes.
Me: Didn't I pay a last month's dues when I signed up?
Her. Yes, so after the 30 days, you have another free month.
Me: I wouldn't call something I already paid for "free."
Her: *silence*
Me: Do I get the rest of this month pro-rated?
Her: No.
Me: So ... I have 3 weeks left on this month that I've already paid for. Plus the 30 days that it takes to cancel, plus another month that I've already paid for. You're telling me that I have to pay for 2 months and 3 weeks more?
Her: ... yes.
Me: Does that sound reasonable to YOU?
Her: *silence* Um, so you can either go into the store or send a certified letter to corporate headquarters.
Me: WHAT. I can't do this over the phone?
Her: We have to have it in writing.
Me: Fax? E-mail? I can't do this online?
Her: No.
Me: So I can pay my bill online, but I can't cancel online.
Her: Yes.
Me: I wanna quit the gym!!!

*Less Friends-savvy people should watch this. Friends-savvy people should watch it because it's funny.